Today seems to be the day to write...

 It's been a long time since I have written... though I think of it often. To be honest, my life has been, we'll say hectic as of late. But a wedding can do that to a person. 

I'm proud to say I haven't been a bridezilla... but I have to be told, almost constantly, to stop skipping over things for the wedding... I originally didn't want a reception, just dinner with the family the night before and then I'm off with my Wookiee... but yeah, that got over-ruled real quick. It's weird to have someone have an opinion, that isn't like mine, but who I have to listen to... I shouldn't say I have to listen, cause I do value his opinion. But on the same note, it's hard to have him be so independent. I always figured that my husband would just give me what I want, let me be myself, and not fight me at all on the naming of kids. That is FAR from reality! Dang you Hollywood for your chick flicks... I shake my fist at you! 

That's all for today my humble subjects. 

4/24/2013

Life is an interesting thing. 

Honest! Just when you don't expect it, Life throws you something that reminds you just how unique and precious life is. And I don't just say this after that shooting at Sandy Hooks, or the bombings in Boston or after reading an article about a soul survivor of a plane crash back in '87 finally speaks about it 25 years later. Because I don't need the horror stories or miracles to remind me about how precious life is. I see it every day when talking to my Wookiee as we plan our wedding. I see it every night when I feel the prayers from my sweet daughter-to-be as she prepares for bed over 1,000 miles away. I see it every week when I go to church and spend time with my nursery kiddos. But at the same time, Life is so complicated. You can't plan it perfectly. If my perfect life plan had went according to my plan, I would be done with school, working freelance, married and expecting baby number two. But no, I had some growing up to do. I didn't know it, but God did. 

But at the same time, I'm thankful that I did wait. I have the most amazing fiance in the world who surprises me everyday with just being him. Long distance or not, he makes sure that I am taken care of and obeying rule #1 (Don't die!). I have a gorgeous little girl who is smarter than her years, and reminds me of myself when I was little.

Life is dance, but you have to learn as you go through the motion (and yes, it's also lyrics to a old country song!) you are going to stumble in this journey, some you may be able to get up with no problems, no scars. Others, you may fall and get hurt and have to do some learning and healing to come back from. But every once in a while, you may fall, but you'll quickly get back up, throw your hands in the air and say, "I'm okay!"

I'm learning, every so slowly, that you have to fight for what you want. It's never going to be just handed to you. I've been fighting through some personal things, some things for much longer than I really want to fight for them. But the good things, the most precious things in life are worth this fight. I've learned, and continue to learn, that people are going to disappoint you, hurt your feelings, or just down right piss you off. This is the  nature of the human race. It sucks, I know. Oh, trust me, I know. My Wookiee gets to listen to me complain about it on almost a weekly basis. (sorry babe)

My point being my humble subjects, life is hard. But if you believe like I do, though I expect you to believe what you feel is right, we are here in this life for a test. Some of us just are being tested harder than others because God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. You are stronger than you think, braver than you know, and truer than anyone you will ever meet. You just need to accept that you are you and life is life.

Good night my humble subjects. I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me. 

I've been told that I need to write... let me start by saying, I've never been one who likes being told what to do... unless I want to do it. I'm stubborn like that.  Life never ceases to amaze me. Just when I think I've got it all figured out how it's going to go, I get a twist to my story... sometimes I like it, sometimes I'd like to break something, preferably something that will shatter...

Though life did give me the best birthday gift of my life... mind you, I'm only 24, so I haven't got too much to compare it to. And y'all are probably thinking I got some material item that I've always wanted... but no. My birthday was just another day for me. I haven't really celebrated it in years, this was the first time in three years I didn't have to work on my birthday. Add in the fact that I was sicker than a dog :( never fun. And my football team lost to Baltimore (LAME!). I get this text message out of no where from my daughter's mom asking me to call them (my phone did a swan dive into a cup of milk just after Christmas and I'm using this uber ghetto go phone that I can only text on until I can get a new one) so of course I commandeer a phone and call them... to get the most sweetest happy birthday from my daughter. I never before realized how rewarding it is to be a parent... well, cause until recently, I wasn't one. I get this amazing girl as part of a package deal with my fiance... and I swear the kid is part me... from the looks to the attitude to the cute little stories she tells. But the best part was, "I love so you much!" will the kid is practically crying. How can you not love that?! I'm glad I stuck through my dark days for days when my daughter reminds me just how blessed I am.

Sorry this isn't the whitty inspirational post I wanted it to be... but I wrote something and that is what counts ;)